One month to Live

So I'm going to die in a month...not literally. So don't get freaked out. I'm just pretending-because of the book I'm reading. I really want to live like I'm dying. I don't want to miss out on life because I'm scared or stuck going through the motions. I want to live life with so much excitement and fulfillment clinging to my chariot driver, God. I want to allow myself be on a journey, my journey that God has bestowed upon me to live and enjoy, highs and lows included. Through my laughter and tears and anger I want to have the best time doing it. I do NOT want to ever look back and say "If only". I think about my friend Ray Kelley who passed away a month ago yesterday. He was 63 but didn't actually start to truely live life until the end. (Oh man I loved that guy, I really learned alot about life through him.)Yes he finally got it, but I'm sure he thought to himself at some point, "Why did it take me my whole life to get to this place."

I tend to thing that I live like a caged rabbit that daily sees the opened cage but decides to never leave because he knows that the owner will provide food and water everyday. If that silly rabbit leaves the cage it might face danger, it might not find food, it might not have any rabbit friends to run with, it might actually get shot. But the cage is never changes, life is always the same. Sitting, staring, eating, sleeping, and rabbit pellets.

But in reality I'm so indecisive of what leaving that cage actually means. I am so afraid of not having a plan and messing up or giving up the wrong thing that I just sit, and stare. I have lots of dreams for myself and things I might can do and do well. Many things I'm passionate about could take up my time and make me happy, joyful and fulfilled. I think... What does living with no regrets really mean? Hmmm so many things to think about. Maybe by the end of this book I'll really know what living like I'm dying really means for me personally.

There is a quote in the book by an anonymous person:

LIFE ISN'T MEASURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE, BUT THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY.

My analogy of truly taking captive to this for me would be pole vaulting. Have I ever pole vaulted in my life? No, not hardly. I really didn't even know this was something in real life, not just the movies and olympics until about a month ago. How fantastic of an adrenaline rush more than to be able to run with a long pole in your hands, plant it in the ground and shoot yourself across the air over a bar!!!! I think it would be an amazing accomplishment because, really there are many things to be scared of in pole vaulting...including killing you.

Environment for the Soul

I was reviewing my notes this morning from Dr. Ed Young's sermon from yesterday. He told of the four ways to obtain and maintain Godly wisdom.
1. Conversion - to turn to Jesus. To confess what you are and what you believe yourself to be, ask him to change you, to Believe what he can actually do with you and who HE is. He is a Saviour! Your Saviour! Then commit your life to him.
2. Worship - Though we see singing and raising our hands, and yes this is it in one respect since praising God through the words of a song is the simplest form of worship...Yet it can be more complicated and more satisfying in your lifestyle! The way you live, everything you do, breathing, interacting with others all praising God!
3. Bible Study - Food for the soul, this is where teachability comes into play. Read it and allow it to change your life. Psalm 119:15 I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways.
4. Prayer - James 1:5 If you need wisdom-if you want to know what God wants you do-ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.

So as I was thinking about these things I begin to think "All of these things should pour into my lifestyle and help create an environment where God can mold and shape me into who he wants me to be." But then what kind of environment do I REALLY create for God. Since He lives within me I want to give him a home he is proud to call his. Hmmm something to think about. God sees what you see, knows what you are thinking at all times, hears what you hear, and then in the end when your are distraught, saddened, stressed, angry....I wonder why? We cause these things with the environment we give our heart and mind.

I also just got the new Natalie Grant CD: Relentless. It is phenomenal! There is a song called "In Better Hands", check it out: I <3 Natalie.

Hello there

Well yesterday I wrote three separate entries that never made it into this blog thing so here is a little something until I'm far less busy... like at work.

I gave in. I did it. With Michael's urging I created this little beauty.... my first blog site. Well I know Michael will be the only one to read this for a few days/weeks but I will pretend that I have many out there needing to hear from me. There are so many things to learn and if my stupid brand new laptop actually worked it would make life so much easier. I just want to say Best Buy is not at the top of my electronics list anymore. They will not give me a new computer when I spent plenty of money on a top of the line computer